“But he who dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.”
Anne Brontë

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Mt. Cardigan

There are those special moments in life where no one will truly understand how special that moment was to you except for yourself. Sometimes they are the simplest of moments but the feelings you get are just so indescribable. Last Friday I hiked the hardest trail at Mt. Cardigan in Alexandria, NH. What started off as a moderate trail ended up turning into one of the biggest mental challenges I have ever faced.

For those of you who think all hiking is a walk in the park, think again. As we approached the summit of the mountain our hike got incredibly challenging. This trail required us to climb on our hands and knees several times. In sheer panic, I had to stop myself a couple times to regroup and catch my breath. After years of dealing with panic and anxiety, it was a huge challenge for me. Finally we made it to the top and the views were absolutely incredible.

The summit overlooked both Vermont and New Hampshire which was absolutely amazing. It was a complete 360 panoramic view of the mountains. My favorite part of nature had completely engulfed me at the summit. The best part about it was, I made it to the top successfully. I never once thought about turning the hell around. It was me, myself, and Stephen that got me to the end on that Friday evening. The mental and physical exhaustion was well worth the short struggle.

When I finally made it over that last big hump and found a place of comfort, I came across a very friendly dog. This is the moment I can't really explain but I will try my best to. 

My favorite part wasn't making it to the top or overcoming my fear but rather running into a stranger's dog that hit my heart directly in the sweet spot. As I was sitting with the dog I thought to myself, "I am not anxiety, anxiety does not define me." I made a huge accomplishment that day. One I would not have been able to make last year. I don't want anxiety and panic to define who I am. I made it to the top and I was rewarded for it. That dog brought me such comfort and enjoyment and I can't really explain why but it is one of those moments I am going to cherish forever. 

I know this was a long post and I'm sorry if it bored you but I hope you can find inspiration in it. I am not one to talk about my anxiety but this incredible moment encouraged me to do so in this very blog post. I hope you too can overcome your fears and not let them define you. I hope you don't take those little moments that make you smile for granted because I believe life will always throw things your way to reward you and make you happy. I hope you always remember those beautiful moments, even if you think no one else will understand, and pull them out on a rainy day for your enjoyment. 

May life bring you beautiful moments and as always
dream your troubles away


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